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Saturday, March 8, 2014

Sadness is Not Allowed

There's something I don't understand. And, as I've begun frequenting more social sites over the past year, I've seen more of it. It confuses me greatly. Why are we told that we owe the world our happiness?

Happiness is the default, it seems. It's what's expected of us. We're told to smile on the bus, to make friendly conversation with the barista at the coffee shop, to laugh politely at jokes being told. And when someone isn't completely happy, outwardly, it makes us uncomfortable. Like we have to fix whatever's wrong.

It just seems a little odd to me. Don't humans have a full range of emotions? I was under the impression that more of a pendulum that swung completely between up and down. Not half a pendulum that only allowed for happy. And yet for some reason it's completely taboo to show that other half of the pendulum. We have to keep it hidden.

Some people are better at hiding than others. I have a friend who appears so completely ecstatic about everything all the time that I sometimes wonder if she's human because really, how do you even achieve that?

I myself have a bit more trouble keeping up the facade of good cheer. Not that I'm never happy, of course, but I'm a bit more of a pessimist and I find it hard to spend every waking minute with my lips stretched into a smile. In many of my circles I've been labeled “moody” and “depressed”.

Like, I'm sorry I can't be happy and bubbly and bouncy all the time? That doesn't mean that my little happy/sad pendulum is broken or that there's something wrong with me. I just don't find the world hilariously fantastic every second.


I guess what I'm just trying to say is, it's okay to have emotions other than positive ones. Not all negative emotions are Bad and have to be explained away with “oh she's on her period”; “oh, he's just having one of those days.” I mean yes, be pleasant. Don't be moody and grouchy and rude. But you do not owe the world your happiness. You have an entire pendulum of emotions and you are free to experience them. You have the right to be sad sometimes.

1 comment:

  1. I really love reading your posts :) I think your thoughts on this are really interesting. I always struggle with the world expecting me to be happy all of the time also, partly from being out going. I have never really been unhappy so in their minds that must mean I am always happy. But there is also the feeling that I don't deserve to be sad. There is a huge world of people who are sad for good reasons, for big reasons! Sometimes it feels like the world shouldn't have to deal with my winy sadness, and that I am unworthy of the feelings that I am experiencing. Sorry, I kinda just wrote a book... But my point is I like and agree with your thoughts on the worlds expectations of how people should display their feelings whether it be sad or happy.

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